Shower Thoughts


 * 1) None is nearly one.
 * 2) I bet there's a direct relationship between the rise of smartphone usage and a decline in bathroom stall graffiti.
 * 3) If you were to walk around the earth, your head would travel a significant distance farther than your feet.
 * 4) I wonder how many incredibly specific world records I hold.
 * 5) Famous ninja are just ninja that failed at their job.
 * 6) TV commercials are really depressing when you realize that every person you see is an aspiring actor who isn't really making it.
 * 7) I wonder how long an archway has to be before it becomes a tunnel.
 * 8) It is more socially acceptable to be LGBT than to smoke cigarettes.
 * 9) If you're an actor, watching your own movie would just be a highlight reel of you going to work everyday.
 * 10) The Onion must be annoyed that they can't come up with anything about Donald Trump that's funnier than his real life.
 * 11) Hasbro has a monopoly on Monopoly.
 * 12) Lunch numbers in school are the same length as bank account numbers, likely to prepar kids for adulthood.
 * 13) A James Bond film should have been released in 2007.
 * 14) There should be a pseudo-parody of Planet Earth about humans from the perspective of an alien race.
 * 15) If conis the opposite of pro, therefore Congress is the opposite of Progress.
 * 16) Given the recent state of the nation, flag poles should be made shorter, as to make all flags permanently half-staff.
 * 17) There should be movies called "equals", where each film has the same plot, but is from different characters perspectives.
 * 18) Queen Elizabeth II's reign encompasses the entire existence of rock music; in the future, rock music could be called Elizabethan music.
 * 19) Some dystopian literature can be renamed "political horror".